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BRIAN, 25, approaches the door of the pub. He carries a guitar on his back and has an overly-styled haircut. He wears a badge on him that says ‘Birthday Boy’. LUCY, 25, is also trying to enter. BRIAN holds the door open for her, smiling.
LUCY
Thank you, you’re in the band then?
BRIAN (trying to sound cool)
Yeah, actually... I play the guitar.
LUCY
Well, obviously - it’s on your back. Anyway, happy birthday!
BRIAN
How did you know it’s my birthday?
LUCY
It’s on your front
Lucy joins her friends. Brian looks at the large, pink ‘Birthday Boy’ badge on his hoodie. There is laughter behind him and to his surprise, there are two older versions of himself sat there, creasing themselves - BRIAN 35 and BRIAN 55.
BRIAN 35
Happy birthday, Brian!
BRIAN 55
Happy birthday, Brian!
Brian 25 looks at them, confused.
BRIAN 25
and a happy birthday to you too?
BRIAN 35
We were just talking about you, er... ‘us’, actually.
BRIAN 55
Your birthday - it’s only natural to take a step back and look at yourself.
Still slightly confused, Brian 25 settles on a stool.
BRIAN 25
I think I need a drink.
BARBARA the landlady appears.
BARBARA
Hello Brian. Brian. Brian.
ALL THE BRIANS
The usual, please, Barbara.
Later on, the pints are a few sips down.
BRIAN 55
Nice look. (to BRIAN 35) Remember the band phase?
BRIAN 35
Yeah, one gig wonder.
BRIAN 25
What do you mean one gig? At least I’ve got hair, Baldielocks. And am I seriously going to have to lug around that spare tyre.
BRIAN 55 (pointing at BRIAN 35)
That’s your fault - go for a jog, will you?
BRIAN 25
I’ll draw you a map to the gym if you like.
BRIAN 35
Listen half-pint, you try a mortgage, kids and working all hours ...... then see if you’ve got time to go jogging. Anyway, I’ll start doing it when I’m his age.
BRIAN 55
No you won’t, obviously... I’m busy working!
BRIAN 35
I’m busy working!
BRIAN 25
I’m busy with the band!
The three argue. BRIAN 65 enters. We don’t see his face but follow his shoulder up to the other BRIANS. They fall silent.
We freeze on the face of BRIAN 65.
BARBARA (TO CAMERA)
Nobody spares much of a thought for their future selves. We’re all far too busy with our lives now.
BRIAN 65
Usual please Barbara
BARBARA (TO CAMERA)
Whether it’s health or wealth, whatever we do now will determine our own future. No one else can do it for us.
Back at the bar, the Brians are talking.
BRIAN 25
Pensions? I’m 25!
BRIAN 35
...and they’re complicated.
BRIAN 55
Maybe if it was simple, and work sorted it out for you...
BRIAN 35
You’d have to be able to take it from one job to the next ... ... and be able see it online
...then you’d be able to keep an eye on your account.
BRIAN 25
It all sounds like something designed to make the city boys even richer
BRIAN 55
Well we’re not having that - it would have to be designed for US.
BRIAN 35
What if the government and the employer put money in too?
BRIAN 55
Good luck.
PAUSE
BRIAN 65
You’d have to make it kick in automatically.
He looks down the length of the bar at his younger selves who one-by-one nod in approval.
BARBARA (TO CAMERA)
Starting in 2012, your employer will make it easy for you to save for your retirement by automatically enrolling you into a pension scheme.
As well as your own contributions, you’ll get more money going into your retirement pot from your employer and the government.
A dart hits the board. At the dartboard OLD LAKSHAN (Asian and in his 60s) picks the darts out.
OLD LAKSHAN
The experience that can only come with a misspent youth!
His younger self replies:
YOUNG LAKSHAN
I'll keep misspending then...
OLD LAKSHAN
I'd rather you didn't!
BARBARA (TO CAMERA)
Your employer may choose NEST - a new, easy to use, low-cost pension scheme,designed for YOUR needs.
You have one retirement pot for life.
YOUNG JANE, 30‘s, dressed in muddy football gear puts an orange juice down in front of OLD JANE, 50’s.
OLD JANE
Not a bad way to spend extra time
YOUNG JANE
I can’t believe we pulled that game back from four nil down ...
OLD JANE
Ah, it’s a game of two halves.
BARBARA (TO CAMERA)
Like other trust-based schemes, NEST is run in your interests on a not-for-profit basis.
And it can help you to find a good deal for your retirement income.
BRIAN 65
...which means I can do whatever I want with my retirement.
BRIAN 25, 35 and 55
Which is...?
BRIAN 65 is holding BRIAN 25’s guitar.
BRIAN 65
We’re putting the band back together.
There are GROANS from the other Brians, apart from BRIAN 25, who beams.
BRIAN 25
Rock on, grandad!
BRIAN 25 steals a glance at LUCY with her friends.
BRIAN 25 (to Brian 65)
Do you think I should buy her a drink then?
Out of nowhere appears a new character, LUCY 65. She gives BRIAN 65 a peck on the cheek.
LUCY 65
(to BRIAN 25)
Cheers. I’ll have one too.
BRIAN 25 chokes on his pint.
CAPTION ON SCREEN HERE:
Who qualifies?
UK workers aged 22 - 65 or State Pension age, earning more than £7,475 per year will be automatically enrolled.
Other workers must be enrolled if they ask to be and depending on their age and earnings their employer may have to contribute.